


Near or Far, I Want You to Come Home

by imnotevil13



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Air Forces, Christmas, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Romance, Vineyarding, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2858516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotevil13/pseuds/imnotevil13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he not wrong counting, it was the first time Richard spent Christmas without James beside him. Both Christmas eve and Christmas day. And somehow it felt so wrong for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Near or Far, I Want You to Come Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ushioK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ushioK/gifts).



> A/N: Hi everyone, I know it’s already late but at least let me say this to you: Merry Christmas! It’s been a long time since the last time I posted a new story. We can say this story is still related to ‘Mirrors’ and every story I ever post about this pairing. Thanks to my friend for giving me an idea to make this story, and ‘thanks’ to my colleage I have to be late for posting this. Still, I’m glad I can make it.  
> I’ll say I dedicate this story for my marvelous friend, Ushio. I hope you’ll like it.  
> And finally, I’m sorry about the OOCness and grammar mistake and mostly wrong tenses. I hope all of you enjoy it. Happy reading and love you people! *wink  
>   
> Translated to 中文 by [UshioK](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ushioK) on [here](http://blog.udn.com/STtoME/48197877).

Richard was about to took a carton of milk when he spotted Lily busying herself with something at kitchen tabel. At first he didn’t gave a damn, let the kid did what their imagine do, they said. But when the brunette’s movement stopped a second to glance at the celling in her deep thought, a light bulb of wonder shining in Richard’s mind. Maybe a little peek didn’t count as a bad thing for this moment.

Moving slowly from behind mimicing stealth ninja -- unless if there’s a ninja in dark-too-big-T-shirt which was belong to James and a carton full of white liquid with dancing cow at front saying ‘Farm Fresh’ did exist, then he count as one -- Richard has turned into a giraflfe. He then smiling innocently when his eyes found out what his little good niece doing. Something related to what he usually did when he was still at the same age as her.

“A letter for Santa, eh?” he pulled a chair beside Lily.

The little girl glancing upward for a moment then back to her red-green-gold card -- a very typical Christmas letter -- again for listing her yet another request. “You wanna make some uncle Rich?”

“Nah, I’m too old for Santa to grant my request. What you listing? Isn’t that too much for a little girl like you?” he said almost accidentally when a list of new dress and shoes caught his attention. And apologize at the same time as Lily glaring the famous Francie’s glare at him.

“It’s Santa’s fault, though. Mommy said he can’t grant my request for this Christmas so I give him a lot of another list for that.”

 _Only seven years and she already make a revenge_. “And that request was....?”

“I only want Uncle James to come home,” she said without leaving her eyes from that card.

Lily was still a child, and there was no saddest thing in this world than a child missing someone. Especially when they began to write that person’s name on their wishing list, in where an ordinary child would chose to write down something like toys or candy. Thanksfully, Lily was still decorating her card -- saying that maybe if her card looks good, Santa will grant it though there was a lot of list at there -- and it gave Richard a room to -- without he even realise it -- making his sad, missing, lost puppy expression.

If he not wrong counting, it was the first time Richard spent Christmast without James beside him. Both Christmas eve and Christmas day. And somehow it felt so wrong for him. ‘Cause it mean there would be no one who woke him at Christmas morning, bake him a gingger bread and make him a cup of hot choco. But the worst thing was, there would be no one who cuddle with him in Christmas night at the couch while their eyes wacthing an old Christmas movie the BBC always play but their mind and topic to talk was nothing but their new year’s plan: the vacation, their future, everything.

Some months ago when James went home from Afghanistan, he almost bought Richard a dog. Two puppy, to be exact. A little cute Golden Retreiver and a few-months-older Shiberian Husky. He thought they could be Richard’s friend and company when he still away for his duty. Distract him from lonelyness, he said.

But Richard refuse it.

Yes, Richard was a man who love dog. Yes, his addict to dog and other animals was beyond women addicted to them. But having animal to replace someone -- though James was promise him that he would be okay at there, that he won’t let his guard down and make him sure he would come home again safe and sound -- was not Richard’s idea of heaven. He still refuse it and he even warn James if he bought him a dog or any other animal without his permission, he would gave them to Mark immediatelly.

It sure as much that thing had made James sad, and Richard knew that. But he prefer this way. He prefer to be alone for six months at their house, then having him back for a whole another six months. He prefer spent his night sleeping at his side pretending James laying on his own side, or making breakfast James usually made for them though not as good as James’, or waiting for James replying his message at night or just making a video call with him. He like all of that thing and that activity had somehow became his routine.

But not at Christmas.

Not at New Year’s Eve.

When he should spent his days with his beloved.

A pool of tears had already form on his eyes. And if Lily didn’t calling his name, he would already cry at the moment.

“Yes, sweatheart?” he said weeping his eyes silently hoping the little girl didn’t caught his action.

“Do you miss him too?”

Of course he was. But instead of answering, Richard reach out his hand to petting the brunette’s hair. Smiling weakly at her when she glance him with a thousand of wonder. And as if she knew Richard’s feeling, Lily smiling brightly and offering him another Christmas card and some crayons.

Trying to distract him from his sadness, she said, “Here Uncle Rich, would you lend me a hand to make another card?” then wishper, “There’s still many thing I want to get from Santa,” and gave him a wink.

Made Richard’s weak smile turn into surprise then a small laugh, “Of course,” he took that offering and began to write what Lily said to him. Then after a few moment he decorate the card, he can’t help from saying, “It’s so much, do you make a wish or make an avenge to him?”

“It’s not an avenge, Uncle Rich. I name it as making-Santa-busy list!”

**

The house became quiet again, like always. Both Jeremy and Francie had came some hours ago to pick Lily home after they left her there while they did their last work before Christmas holiday came. Jeremy with his new team doctor, Francie with her new article for her medical magazine about Jeremy’s new team doctor.

Having a same job -- or at least almost a same job -- as your partner, sometimes could make your relationship easier. That was what Richard thought when he saw Jeremy and Francie stood together that night. Smiling at him at the front door, just a couple of minutes back from their work’s colaboration, greeted him with gift as a thanks for keeping Lily for two days. And honestly, that made Richard jealous to them.

No, not jealous. It was an envy.

He hate about the fact that his and James’ job couldn’t be relate.

Jeremy’s and Francies’ job was different. So bloody different. But sometimes they could work together when Francie’s magazine made a medical article, just like this one. Or when Francie’s magazine made an article about Jeremy’s patient or the hospital he work for. They were different and yet they still could work together. And more of that, they were not separated a thousand kilometers away.

Richard threw his body desperately on a nearby sofa. This was not make sense, he never complain about his condition before. He knew, since from the start, since from he was still a friend of James May, alone was something James’ lover would get for the sake of his duty. No matter who they were or what they did for work.

He had became a little bit melancholy this past days. After getting the news that James’ couldn’t went home for this Christmas two months ago, he thought he could spent it like usual. But he was so wrong.

From the place he sat right now, in the living room at the sofa near the fireplace, James’ work room was not far from his visibility. He could see from the corner of his eyes a light brown door which separate him from the inside of that library-look room. And even from his place, he could feel the loneliness each time he went there just to made sure James answering his message -- or maybe left him a message. But every inbox which came to their mail was no one but from his vine. And the chat room was so plain there was no letter from neither James’ nor his own words.

And waiting for a message from someone you really care about, someone you love, can slowly, mentally destroy yourself.

A sigh escape from him as he stood up to left. Having a good, long shower night at the complete down temperature might help him to cool down his foggy mind. Might be James was still busy, might be he was out for some task. Hell, he even been in this situation before. When James had to out of his connection from Richard for ten days, but this time was just three days and he already became a 1950’s -- worried -- wife.

Might be, just, might be, it’s because before James went missing -- at least just from their chat and as sure as hell Richard didn’t want his terminology turned into literally -- the soldier didn’t left him any clue about that. Or just a bloody straight message saying that he would left for some days and couldn’t talk to him for some times.

Yeah. Might be that was the reason.

  


# # #

  


“Thank you, thanks. Hey, thanks for coming. Yeah, and Merry Christmas to you too. Thanks....”

And the echo of Francie’s and Jeremy’s voice still sounding even from the kitchen. Where Richard chose to spent the rest of the party alone sitting beside the dining table sipping his lemon tea. It didn’t mean he was alone on that party. The party at Clarkson’s resident was always big, full of friends and families who -- thanksfully -- Richard knew almost all of them. So it mean there were so many people he could make conversation with. But still, this was his first time attending the party solo without James beside him. So though the room looked crowded, he still could felt a cold blank space on side of him every place he went.

“You sure you don’t want to sleep over?”

It was Francie, making step from the doorway closer to him. “Yeah, I gotta go now. Thanks for the party,” he said with a brief smile and grabbing his jacket ready to leave.

But the little man’s step stopped when Francie stood still in front of him crossing her arms. “You okay?”

A single nod was his option for answering her. But when Francie almost asking him again, he finally said, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m okay. Just, tired, maybe. I’m sorry for making you worried.”

“It’s about James, right?” no answer, “Come on sweetheart, tell me. What happen?”

Then after a single sigh, two persuasion, and another sigh, Richard couldn’t help from placing his head on Francie’s shoulder. His body trembling when he fough hard his own body to kept his voice steady. “I don’t know what happen to me.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s normal to miss him. Especially in days like this.”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

This time was Francie’s turn to sigh. “Not again Rich.”

“Yeah, not again,” a pause, “I hope.”

“Come on dear,” she pulled out Richard and cupped his cheeks, eyeing the already watery brown eyes she said, “Take a rest, I’ll tell Mark to drive you home -- hush, hush, listen to me. You are tired, both your mind and body. I won’t ever forgive you if you went home in a condition like this. Sit down, I’ll go find Mark.”

And that was the begining of all the reasons why right now Richard sat on an M3 instead of his beloved 997. Driving throught the night traffict on a passenger seat.

The only noise inside that black saloon was from the radio. The late night show station chose to play some mellow songs about love, family and general. But mostly love. Since the song was not so sensitive to the topic -- from what Mark thought that the song’s story was still acceptable -- the assistant let it play along their journey back to May’s resident.

But then ‘that’ song had played without warning.

  


_[Hello world, hope you’re listening]_

_[Forgive me if I’m young]_

_[For speaking out of turn....]_

  


But Mark’s movement from turning off the radio halted when Richard forbid him.

“Let it be. I know this song, it’s okay.”

  


_[There’s someone I’ve been missing]_

_[I think that they could be, the better half of me]_

_[They’re in the wrong place, trying to make it right]_

_[But I’m tired of justifying]_

_[So I say to you]_

_[Come home, come home]_

_[‘Cause I’ve been waiting for you]_

_[For so long, for so long]_

  


“You sure it’s okay, sir?”

No answer.

  


_[Right now there’s a war between the vanities]_

_[But all I see is you and me]_

_[The fight for you is all I’ve ever known]_

_[So come home.... ]_

  


There was a slight movement’s sound from behind as Richard slumped on his seat, face to the window. Though it’s dark inside that car, Mark still could see a single tear dropped on his boss’ face when he peek from the center glass.

“Can I say something sir?”

A clear throat. “Go on.”

“If I were you I will complain the station for playing this song.” He took another peek and smirked when he found a smile plestered on Richard’s face. “You are welcome, sir.”

**

Wandering from the shower with only his sweatpants, Richard stopped in front of that door again. He hestinated from checking the mail but finnaly chose to went upstair instead.

Back to their room and trying to sleep.

  


# # #

  


“Great, Christmas’ Eve and I have to spent it with this!”

Mark couldn’t help but laughed slowly seeing his boss sat on side of his table complaining about every single paper laying on his desk. “I’m afraid, sir, that just the begining.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. And thanks for that.”

Another laugh. “I’ll get you something, tea?”

“With chamo, yeap.”

“Roger that.”

Mentally Richard thanked God for making a human like Mark. He both a good man and a great assistant for someone like him: easy to panic, still struggling to manage his own life. And he also should thanks James for introduce him back then, when Richard looking for a man he can trust to be his right hand, James came with his old friend named Mark Webber.

Ah, speaking of James, there still no information about that soldier. And it’s already five days after the party at Clarkson’s. Richard’s worried now had became a pray everytime he went to bed, and thanks to everyone around, he could calmed his mind though there was still something not felt right on his feeling.

Moment later, a ping of new message came out from his laptop. There were a lot of unread message on his mail and he still too lazy to open them, mostly was about bill, partnership, errand, and many thing related to his work and vine.

But this one was different.

And somehow Richard could feel that.

Clicking his new message, he found what he was waiting for.

**

A whistle of boiling water echoing from the empty kitchen, forcing Mark to hurrying himself ran like lunatic from bathroom to turn off the stove. He close his eyes as leaning forward placing both his hands at the sinking to steady the breath. He hate running.

After making the chamo-tea -- and dark coffee for himself -- Mark walked back to Richard’s office and stopped immediatelly when he heard his boss’ voice from inside.

“...still, I’m glad you okay.”

_“So, how’s your day?”_

Hearing that voice, Mark couldn’t help from raising his eyebrow. He took a peek from the little gap between two doors and smiled. Sat in there was Richard, full of tears but smiling in front of his laptop. His voice was trembling but Mark could catch a pure happiness on the tone.

Didn’t have a heart interupting his boss, Mark stepping back and sat on waiting room -- place not far from Richard’s office -- sipping his coffee.

He could wait.

As long as his boss happy, Mark could wait patiently on here.

**

It was James. It was James bloody May who sent him a message. Trembling from happiness, worry, angry, and happy again, he read the message.

James.May:

_‘Hi handsome, it’s been a long time. I’m sure you worried about me so let me tell you this: I’m sorry for not telling you, this mission was so sudden and took a couple of days to be done. I’m fine on here, I’m okay. I’m safe and sound though it was a hard one. Thanks Lord for that. I’ve sent a message to our mail but it seem you didn’t read it since there still no reply from you. So what I thought was you were not home. That’s why I sent you this. Merry Christmas luv, wherever you right now I hope you are not forget to take care of yourself. I’m sorry for this condition, our condition. What I want to do right now is go home right at this moment and hold you tight, wishing you Christmas while I can feel you on my arms and spent the whole day at everyday with you. I love you always.”_

This message had brought tears on Richard’s face which then he burried it on his palms, sobbing from happiness. His mind and body became numb from this one, this single message from his beloved. But then like a struck of lightning an idea crossing his brain and force his hand to type this fast.

Rich@911:

_‘Can we use the video call?’_

A minute, two, three minutes had pass and the hamster gave up. He sighed hard, closing his browser and almost turned off his laptop when a notification of video call coming. James May it said.

Without a second thought Richard pressed enter and there he was.

With his tired smile, a little bit longer hair and slightly unshaved beard, there was James May.

_“Hi.”_

“Oh my God, James.... Oh Lord, I miss you so much.”

_“I’m sorry.”_

“You make me worry, you see.” He took a deep breath, closing his still teary brown eyes and laughed nervously. “You have no idea how worried I was. I thought you’ll leave me, I thought..., something bad happen to you.”

_“Nothing bad Rich, just a sudden call from Captain. You know what? Not telling you before I left that day had completely screwing my feeling.”_

“Yeah, I can imagine that.”

_“I’m serious Rich.”_

“So do I.” A pause and Richard could see James’ Adam apple gulping down on his throat. “Look I –“

_“I’m sorry for making you angry.”_

“I’m not angry, I just –“ 

_“ – And I’m sorry for dissapoint you --”_

“ -- James, listen –“

_“ – What?”_

“I’ve read your message. And I’ve known you so much I know you are a kind of person who can become more honest to express his feeling via text instead of a direct-saying. I know James, so please, please don’t say sorry again.”

At this, James smiled at him. _“I miss you.”_

“Me too.”

_“My mission was suck.”_

“I can imagine that. But still, I’m glad you okay.”

_“So, how’s your day?”_

“Not so amazing, make me tired.”

_“Can you tell me the story? I’m free this night.”_

And with that Richard had became a one night story teller for James. He talk about everything, from his daily routine, about Lily making revenge for Santa -- and he can’t help from laughing when James’ eyes rounded -- about Jeremy’s party, and many more.

“What about you? You know, your suck mission?”

 _“It was..., a patrol from Royal Army get ambushed. And my squad had been told to saved them -- then something went wrong. Enemy everywhere, gun, bomb, tank, RPG -- well, like an action movie but it felt much real. Heli down at there and here, people scream ‘man down! Man down!’, blood everywhere.”_ He paused to gave Richard his gentle eyes as the brown hair whispering _‘Oh my God’_. _“And we stuck on that place for three or four days -- I’m a bit hazy of that. Thanksfully another reinforcement came. They saved us, took us back to their camp and ta-da, that was the place I spent for a couple of days for my recovery. Are you okay?”_ he asked when Richard covering his mouth and lowering his head.

“I’m embarrassed I angry these past days.”

_“It’s rational.”_

“I felt something was not right when there was no message from you. And –“

_“And that feeling was true. I’m not wrong from chosing you as my partner of life.”_

“And I have no regret from accepting you. I wish you come home as soon as possible, James.”

 _“Yeah,”_ a pause, _“I think I should let you go, back with your work I mean.”_

“Yeap, it’s very tiresome.”

_“You alone?”_

“No, Mark on here. Thanks for recommend him that day, he’s a hard worker.”

_“Say my hello to him then.”_

“Bye James.”

_“Night handsome. Oh, and Merry Christmas.”_

Richard glance his watch and smiled, it’s already 12.10 a.m. “I think Santa had gave me a great present ever in my life.”

_“Maybe because you had helped Lily decorate her revenge cards.”_

They laughed together. And before Richard ended their conversation, he reach out his hand to touch the screen. Caressing James’ face from that flat, LCD screen he sighed again. “Merry Christmas. I love you.”

**

The page on that novel was almost end when Mark heard someone calling his name. It was Richard. He straight up from his laying position on that sofa to greeted his boss. Then stood up approaching the little man with a cup of colder chamo-tea on hand.

“Do you need me to warming this up?”

“Nah, it’s okay.” He walked back inside the office with his assitant following respectfully from behind. “James said hello to you.”

“Ah, thanks for telling me sir. I wish him his health and safe at there.” Mark sat back on his seat not far from Richard’s desk and began typing. “May I know when will he came back, sir?”

“It should be this January. But after that incident..., it seems his schedule had been changed.”

“It will be good if he come back soon,” he said and glance upward from his laptop to watched Richard smiling at him.

“Thanks for the time.”

“Anytime, sir.”

They work again in silent for a couple of minutes before suddenly Richard asked Mark to played some music on his laptop. The assistant smiled before saying okay then chose a song which he think his boss will like it.

  


_[I'm here, you're there,]_

_[But your love is with me everywhere I go]_

_[This I know...... ]_

  


“Oh, you imbecile.” A shy smile form on Richard’s face when he heard that song but he didn’t made a further complain about that.

Consider this as an okay, Mark just smiled back at him and continuing his typing. When then Richard calling his name, “Yes sir?”

“Thank you. And Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, sir.”

  


_[I'm near, you're far]_

_[Driving away in your little car]_

_[But my love will follow you everywhere]_

_[Best believe I'll make mistakes]_

_[But love won't stop, it has no breaks]_

_[Strong is what we are whenever we're apart]_

_[I'll be right where you are, I'm in your heart]_

_[So don't you worry about a thing, or all the miles in between]_

_[You have my heart, you had it from the start]_

_[I love you from afar...]_

**Author's Note:**

> The song I used here is a song from Carissa Rae (Near or Far) and One Republic (Come Home). I don't get any money from using this song and of course the songs are belongs to the owner always.


End file.
